Motherhood: The best of times, the worst of times.
Becoming a mom was an induction into the superhero race that motherhood had become. Since childhood, I was surrounded by women who were hustlers; always striving for survival.
And Having been raised during the times of women’s lib-a misguided movement that only indoctrinated women with the belief that they had to do it all and get ahead-My mother was adamant about empowering me to be a strong woman. Lessons about hard work, independent earning potential, and sacrifice were drilled into me. I accompanied my mother each day as she worked multiple jobs. There were no off days. No days of rest. And self-care? What was that?
It’s no wonder that motherhood for me became a hustle. Even though I was in a better place financially, had a supportive husband by my side, and a stable career, none of that mattered. Survival-mode was hard-wired into my being. I knew no other way to do anything, let alone parent. I had to master parenting, marriage, entrepreneurship. I was so strongly wired to find satisfaction in the intensity of struggle, in moving through the world with brute force, tenacious grit, at lightening speed. I had to do it all, all the time, and perfectly.
And when my body broke down in Illness, desperate for reprieve, I believed it lazy snd pushed it past its limits, all to win the big race…. To nowhere…
I forgot who I was-my roots
I forgot how to cook a meal
I forgot how to sit patiently and listen to my children without distraction
I forgot how to rest and replenish
I forgot how to be soft, simmered, gentle
I forgot how to witness a child’s growth with unconditional acceptance & appreciation
I forgot how to dance with my own emotions
I forgot how to trust the wisdom of my intuition
I forgot how to bring my masculine and feminine energies into balance
I forgot how to be graceful
I was left with was a vessel imprinted with deep wounds of trauma and burnout, sickness, resentment, and I was detached from my body, from my kids, and from life.
My home was joyless, tense, and unsafe. My boys developed anxiety and insecurities, and acted out in ways that mirrored my disregulation.
My ReWilding was the solution.
