Stop trying to feel better & just feel everything.
Stop trying to feel better.
Stop trying to get rid of feelings.
Stop trying to move “bad” feelings out of you.
Stop trying to make feelings “bad” in the first place.
Stop trying to release.
Stop trying to stifle feelings.
Stop trying to run away from your feelings.
Stop trying to escape discomfort.
Stop trying to evade yourself.
Stop trying to numb out.
Stop trying to fix yourself.
Stop trying to find problems with yourself.
Stop trying to find the guru outside yourself.
Stop trying to cling to old patterns while hoping for results.
Stop trying to create peace when in the process all that is created is chaos.
I hear clients all day every day who have spent years sometimes decades chasing “happiness”. They seek pills, practioners, and programs in an effort to “feel good”.
What they’re really searching for is comfort because somewhere along the way of this ever-changing world, we have been domesticated to believe that we deserve to be happy all the time. We have been conditioned to believe if we aren’t happy enough, there is a pill for that. If we aren’t satisfied enough, there is a coach for that. If we aren’t comfortable enough, there is a quick-fix strategy for that.
All that leads to is a society of people always feeling broken and incessantly striving. Yet there is no relief.
Why all the fruitless striving?
Because being happy and comfortable all the time isn’t actually possible!!
The Buddhist teachings on this topic are golden: humans suffer because they’re fundamentally uncomfortable with being uncomfortable!
We need to practice being in a moment with all that we feel and experience and instead of forcing it away, instead of angrily resisting it, instead of running from it, instead of evaluating it as good or bad, instead of trying to change it, we allow it space to be there, knowing it’s temporary because everything is temporary. Knowing it’s just energy. Knowing it’s just neutral.
Can we find our flow-the space in which all energy moves through us and we make the choice not to react to it.
Non-reactivity is our greatest asset if we can practice it. It takes practice —because we have to work on this at the level of the nervous system. We have a human brain primed to be negative and reactive for survival. But we can learn how to work with our brain, our nervous system, and the fundamental energy of which we are made.
If we can return to the most essential state of sensation, in the body, the neutrality of sensation will not only ground us in the now, but it will prevent our overprotective brains from making interpretations (for survival) which morph into negative thoughts and unhealthy behaviors.
Return to the body, identify sensations, stay with those sensations for a moment or two without doing anything about it—no judgements, no deep breaths, no counting to 10–just stay with the sensations, allow them all to flow.
We can learn how to give our bodies permission to move, to dance it’s dance, to sing it’s song. To vibrate, to undulate, to sensually move with life as it’s happening, instead of trying to move against it. In flow. In harmony.
Learning how to be non-reactive is the only way to feel good. Its the only way for us to be flexible cognitively so we can generate solutions responsibly instead of reactively. It’s the only way to be radically free. It’s the only way to stay in alignment. It’s the way to health and wellness, as an open-flowing system is a healthy one.
Can we be present with ourselves instead of detaching and disconnecting from ourselves?
Can we meet our emotions (energy in motion) and all our experiences with open arms?
Can we be so intimate with ourselves like we would be with a lover? Intimacy-“in-to-me-I-see”
Can we comfort ourselves and offer compassion to ourselves?
Can we value ourselves more and judge ourselves less?
Can we motivate ourselves with unconditional acceptance rather than conditional convictions?
Just feel everything. Allow it all to move through you. Stay in flow.
You will achieve, succeed, and enhance your vitality.
Food for thought: If we separate from ourselves, we only foster more separation in the world. Stay present. Stay connected. Your life, and others’ depend on it.